Resting and New Life

So it's been a looong time since my last post. Mostly because I just haven't been at work and that's normaly where I update my blog. I can't say that's the only reason I haven't been posting though, no I haven't been medicating in my usual habits and area's I would normaly go but I haven't really been very happy of late. Now I know for you people who read this for the most part know that my wife just went through a surgery and came out wonderfully. And for this I am happy. But on the heals of that I have started to have some medical issues.....(Which I won't go into here:) Which has had me really questioning what the heck God is doing! I do not do good with doctors at all....did I say at all....I mean AT ALL! Now I'm in this state of waiting for answers about what's going on and I'm not doing very good trusting God on this. Some of the diagnosis's I could get could really suck. Really.

So I am pretty much freaking out.

I know whatever the will of God is for my life that I should be willing to go there. I'm just having a really hard time coming to that place where I can say, "Whatever you do God, it's ok with me". Saying I trust him with it all has been difficult to get past my lips. I have got it past them...but I feel like my emotions take over so much and try to get me to worry again. Anyways, I do believe I've started rambling. Pray for me. Thanks.